So... I had a baby. Come to find out, having a baby and maneuvering through the first steps of motherhood takes a decent amount of time. And that is why I have been absolutely terrible at updating our blog. Which really stinks since these past months are chalked full of some of my most cherished memories. I am hoping I can recollect a lot of the details, get us caught up and maintain a good record from here on out.
I'm a mommy now, and I will say becoming a mother has been the most special gift bestowed on me. Becoming Nate's wife has been by far the best decision I have ever made, but becoming a mother is a gift I could never repay. However, as beautiful, cherished and tender a role motherhood is, if I am being totally honest, the first couple of months completely rocked my world. As Nate and I were leaving the hospital with our little Carter (who was not crying while the three of us peacefully left, so its not like the advise was provoked) three nurses were seeing us off and each smiled and said "Good Luck! It will get better in about 6-8 weeks". Umm.. whats that supposed to mean?? We put the baby in the car, buckled ourselves up.. and pulled out of the parking lot. It felt like we were seeing the world for the very first time, and we were definitely afraid, but very excited. Then Carter started to cry. I mean scream. It was so terrifying realizing it was our responsibility to soothe him that Nate and I just about joined in with him. From that moment on we understood what the nurses meant. The adjustment for Nate, Carter and I took some getting used to. However 6-8 weeks later, after a bought of baby blues, loads of panic attacks, and relying on our mothers 100% for help, Carter cracked his first smile and our concerned hearts started to relax. After fighting off terrible gas and acid reflux issues and hitting the three month mark, it is safe to say we are so incredibly in love and happy with our roles as a family.
I admit it is not easy to be a stay at home parent. I am thrown up on just about every day, peed on constantly (and if I am being totally honest- there are a good amount of times I don't completely wash it off... because... lack of time? Its just going to happen again?... who knows.) I have never been so interested in human waste, or found an outing to the grocery store to be so incredible. It is a challenge to find time for the most basic of things, like going to the restroom, eating, and basically t-shirts are my highest level of fashion most days. Oh, and I may or may not have LOST my mind a few times now debating how to give my son the best foundations in life. Do we cry it out? Demand feed? Has he had enough tummy time today? How the HECK am I supposed to deal with the intense dislike for the car seat every single time we leave the house? What time should bed time be? Should I be finding time to make dinner for Nate every night? How exactly are we supposed to have family dinners when they cut into bedtime routine? Do we have a routine? Should I be getting us on a routine? Oh my gosh, what do I want our routine to be and how the heck do I start this?? Physically, emotionally and mentally I am completely spent every day.
But then there is bedtime... Carter sits on my lap at the edge of the tub as we watch it fill with water which gets Carter so excited for the much anticipated bath time. We play, coo and engage in full conversations together during the bath, and after a good lotion application and PJ's, I get to rock my baby boy to sleep. My heart melts every time. Carter looks up at me while drinking his bottle, strokes my hand, and locks eyes with me, smiling until he drifts off to sleep in my arms. I have tears of joy running down my cheeks at least once a week because of the tenderness of moments like these. And suddenly I can not wait to start tomorrow and hear his voice, see his smiles, soothe his sad tired mind, kiss his adorable face and watch him grow into the most special little boy I have ever known.
Carter- you are my forever and I pray everyday I do you justice. You deserve all the good this world has to offer and your father and I fully intend to work our hardest to give it to you. I love you my sweet son.
Now onto recording our memories...
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